Sometimes people do things thinking it will bring you closer to God… and it ends up making you care less.
I’ve always prided myself on being empathetic. For many years I cared—deeply. Then one day, I stopped.
Returning to the South did something to me. The “Bible Belt” culture can feel like forced spirituality—where people push, test, and probe you in the name of “God,” but what they’re really after is control, access, attention, or your emotional labor.
And any system that is contingent and predicated upon control and forced conformity is not one I respect.
Science backs up why that pressure often backfires: when belief is coerced, it triggers resistance (psychological reactance), increases burnout (compassion fatigue), and encourages performative belonging instead of authentic transformation. Pressure doesn’t produce purity—it often produces performance.
People can try to “test the God in you” for selfish reasons, but it doesn’t take God from you.
It increases your discernment. It sharpens your emotional intelligence. And it teaches you to care less about the noise… and more about what’s real.
Once I cared deeply when I worked at the Veterans Association. I showed up with compassion, patience, and service in my spirit. But after years of lunacy—years of watching systems stay dysfunctional, performative, and draining—I stopped caring about government matters like that. That is not my burden to carry. Even the police and saving black men; turned out that the black men in uniform in the south, will use the system to rape black women of self-respect and dignity.
Now I care about what I can actually steward:
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My happiness
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My relationship with God
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My financial success
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My peace, my boundaries, and my future
Because one must choose what they want in life—and let everyone else do the same.
Empathy only goes so far until you realize it is not your job to carry other people’s burdens. It’s your job to recognize what’s unhealthy, and choose what you will—and won’t—entertain.
The Bible says:
“Above all else, guard your heart…” (Proverbs 4:23)
And Jesus also said:
“If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you?” (Luke 6:32)
That isn’t a command to tolerate manipulation. That’s a call to higher love—love with wisdom, love with boundaries, love that can pray for people and still deny them access.
So yes: guard your heart and care less. Because it’s often then you start to understand what Martin Luther King Jr. and Malcolm X experienced—pressure, backlash, misunderstanding… and eventually: revelation.
Put yourself first—because when your heart is protected, your purpose stays protected too. Love yourself and choose who you will love. Not with your feelings, but your reasoning mind.
#GiftOfDiscernment #FaithAndBoundaries #Discernment #EmotionalIntelligence #ProtectYourPeace #GuardYourHeart #SpiritualGrowth #HealthyBoundaries #SelfWorth #PersonalDevelopment #LeadershipMindset #CompassionWithBoundaries #MentalWellness #StopPeoplePleasing #FaithOverForceSometimes people do things thinking it will bring you closer to God… and it ends up making you care less.