Is it possible to educate yourself through God’s Word, psychology, modern mental-health science, and even other belief systems—and genuinely change your mindset and cultural conditioning in a way that makes you wiser, sharper, and more grounded?
In my life, the answer has been yes.
Not because I “became someone else,” but because I finally became clearer—about myself, about people, and about what I will and will not allow.
The Turning Point: Learning How to Truly Comprehend What I Read
One of the most life-changing skills I ever learned was deceptively simple: define what you read.
Years ago, a pastor introduced me to Scientology materials (including Dianetics) around 2013. At the time, I didn’t fully understand what I was being exposed to. But one principle stuck with me: if you read without clearly comprehending, you can collect information and still stay confused. When you slow down, define terms, and grasp concepts, you start to understand theories, axioms, and ideas at a deeper level.
That one practice trained my mind to stop skimming life—and start understanding it.
When the Fog Lifted: Healing Changed My Behavior
Over time, something shifted in me. Emotional baggage I carried for years stopped driving my decisions. My memory became clearer. My reactions changed. The way I once behaved didn’t even feel like me anymore.
I began to notice the Holy Spirit in the quiet moments—when I sat still, listened, and stopped forcing answers. I became less confused about environments that didn’t fit me. I stopped trying to “save” people who stayed committed to their own chaos. And I started pouring into people who poured into me.
That’s when I realized: discernment isn’t just spiritual—it’s practical.
Discernment Has a Pattern: Good Energy Can Attract Broken People
When you truly have good intentions, a big heart, and positive energy, you can draw in people who are hurting.
Some are genuinely seeking God, healing, and self-understanding. And some come to steal peace—because they recognize something in you they don’t want to face in themselves.
Discernment taught me to stop romanticizing everyone’s motives. Not everyone is safe simply because they’re familiar. Not everyone deserves access simply because they’re struggling.
Being “Good” Doesn’t Mean Being Silent
I had to learn that being a good person does not mean tolerating disrespect.
It does not mean people-pleasing. It does not mean avoiding conflict at the expense of your dignity. It does not mean staying quiet while someone crosses your boundaries.
Real growth taught me to assertively communicate my needs and expectations. To speak up. To walk away. To stop negotiating my worth.
Your Healing Will Offend People Who Benefit From Your Brokenness
This is the part many people don’t prepare you for: when you grow, some people will take it personally.
Not because you harmed them—but because your improvement becomes a mirror. It exposes what they’ve avoided. It challenges what they’ve normalized. And it disrupts dynamics where you were easier to control.
I’ve seen this in my own life—especially in certain circles I grew up around—where self-improvement is treated like betrayal. But I refuse to shrink to make other people comfortable in their stagnation.
The Final Freedom: I Am Not Responsible for Their Perception
One of the most freeing truths I’ve embraced is this:
I cannot control how someone treats me. I cannot control how someone perceives me. But I can control what I accept.
I have the right to be myself—fully. And if someone doesn’t like me, that’s their loss, not my tragedy.
What I Now Know for Sure
Studying faith, psychology, and other frameworks didn’t “confuse” me. It matured me. It helped me separate emotion from truth, trauma from identity, and people-pleasing from love.
I didn’t become perfect. I became clear.
And clarity will change your whole life.
Here are a few scientific frameworks that helped me put language to what I was living through:
1) The Biopsychosocial Model
One thing I’ve learned is that healing isn’t only about one area of life. It’s the whole person—your body, your mind, and your environment. In medical science, there’s a model that basically says the same thing: wellness is shaped by biology, psychology, and social conditions working together.
And that makes sense to me because when my thinking matured, my stress level changed. When my stress changed, my relationships changed. When my relationships changed, my choices changed. And that’s when my whole life started improving.
How I compare it to Dianetics: The Dianetics approach I was exposed to emphasized the mind and how mental clarity can relieve distress. While some of its broader claims have been strongly criticized for lacking scientific support, the habit of slowing down to understand is something I kept—because comprehension brings freedom.
2) Allostatic Load
I didn’t always have words for it, but I knew what it felt like to live on high alert—always adapting, always bracing, always “pushing through.” Science has a name for the wear-and-tear chronic stress puts on the body: allostatic load.
This one hit home for me because it validates what discernment taught me spiritually: some environments don’t just irritate you… they damage you. Protecting your peace isn’t selfish. Sometimes it’s survival.
3) Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
CBT teaches that what you tell yourself—and how you interpret what happens—shapes how you feel and behave. That lines up with what I experienced: when I changed how I processed life, I changed how I responded to life.
This is where my “define what you read” practice matters: When you define terms and truly understand what you’re taking in, you stop letting confusion control you. You stop living off assumptions. And you start making clearer, calmer decisions.
4) Salutogenesis and Sense of Coherence
Some models don’t start with “What’s wrong with you?” They start with “What helps you move toward health?” That’s what salutogenesis is about—building a life that feels more understandable, manageable, and meaningful.
Honestly, that’s what God was doing in me. My life started making sense. My boundaries became clearer. My purpose felt stronger. I stopped forcing connection where there was no respect.
5) Cognitive Load Theory
This one explains something I had to learn the hard way: your brain can only hold so much at one time. When you’re overloaded—mentally, emotionally, spiritually—you can read words and still not “get it.”
Defining terms, slowing down, and actually digesting what I was learning helped reduce that overload. That’s why I say comprehension isn’t just education—it’s deliverance from confusion.
6) Memory Reconsolidation
There’s also science showing that when an old memory gets stirred up, it can be reshaped as it’s stored again. That helped me understand why, as I healed, certain triggers stopped having power over me.
It’s like God took what used to haunt me and turned it into wisdom. The past didn’t disappear—but it stopped controlling my present.
7) WHO’s Definition of Health
The World Health Organization defines health as more than “not being sick.” It includes physical, mental, and social well-being.
And that’s exactly what I mean when I say I became different: I wasn’t only trying to “be good.” I was learning to be healthy—in my mind, my relationships, and my spirit.
How I Summarize It Now
God, understanding my gifts and inherent abilities did the spiritual work in me—and I learned language from psychology and medical science that helped me understand the process. I don’t need every framework to be my “religion”, but to learn a lesson from it. I keep what aligns with healing, clarity, and righteousness—and I discard what doesn’t.
Because at the end of the day, discernment will always lead you back to the same truth:
Confusion drains. Clarity heals. And peace is not optional.
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