Getting married again didn’t just reshape my personal life — it fundamentally changed my relationship with organized religion. Not because I lost faith, but because I gained depth.
Traveling, living across cultures, and engaging with people of different belief systems expanded my understanding of humanity, spirituality, and God. When I returned to Tennessee, the contrast was stark. My growth didn’t make others smaller — it simply illuminated how stagnant some perspectives had become.
Having an open perspective in religion does not mean you lack devotion. For me, it means you possess discernment and a mind of your own.
When Faith Becomes Control
Marriage should be a partnership — not a conversion project. When someone tries to force conformity of belief, thought, or spiritual expression, it becomes a turnoff, not a testimony.
I love God. I accept Jesus. But let’s be honest — who among us is perfect?
Scripture itself reminds us:
“For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” — Romans 3:23
Yet many religious environments subtly demand perfection, particularly from women. I remember conversations with Mormon women who felt they could never live up to cultural and religious expectations. At the time, I observed it. Now, I understand it.
Perfectionism isn’t holiness — it’s pressure.
Humanity, Imperfection, and Spiritual Reality
Human beings are incapable of perfection. Why? Because we exist in relationship — with other humans, environments, emotions, and spiritual energies. Even our thoughts are influenced by context.
Jesus Himself acknowledged human limitation:
“The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.” — Matthew 26:41
Spiritual maturity doesn’t come from pretending we are flawless; it comes from humility, accountability, and grace.
Science Confirms What Scripture Teaches
Neuroscience and psychology support this reality. Research shows that moral perfectionism and rigid belief systems often correlate with increased anxiety, shame, and reduced psychological well-being (Hill et al., 2010).
Conversely, individuals with intrinsic spirituality — faith guided by internal conviction rather than external pressure — demonstrate higher emotional regulation, resilience, and empathy (Koenig, 2012).
In other words: Faith rooted in internal discernment strengthens the soul. Faith rooted in control fractures it.
On Jesus, Race, and Spirit
People often say, “Black people worship a white Jesus.” Historically speaking, Jesus was a man of color from the Middle East. But the truth is — His race is irrelevant to His divinity.
“God is spirit, and His worshipers must worship in spirit and in truth.” — John 4:24
We don’t worship skin tone. We receive Spirit.
The Real Moral of the Story
A pastor once told me, “People don’t like you messing with their Christianity.” That statement stuck with me.
Because the real issue isn’t faith — it’s ego.
When people confuse their interpretation of God with God Himself, humility disappears. No one was appointed divine gatekeeper.
“Not that we lord it over your faith, but we work with you for your joy.” — 2 Corinthians 1:24
The Holy Spirit fills the soul — not human judgment.
Final Thought
You can have all the religion in the world and still lack discernment. You can follow rituals perfectly and still miss the heart of God.
Faith is not about control. Spirituality is not about conformity. Growth is not rebellion.
Sometimes, the most faithful thing you can do is think for yourself — with God.
References
Biblical Sources
-
Romans 3:23
-
Matthew 26:41
-
John 4:24
-
2 Corinthians 1:24
Scientific & Academic Sources
-
Hill, P. C., et al. (2010). Conceptualizing religion and spirituality: Points of commonality, points of departure. Journal for the Scientific Study of Religion.
-
Koenig, H. G. (2012). Religion, spirituality, and health: The research and clinical implications. ISRN Psychiatry.
-
Baumeister, R. F., et al. (2007). Self-regulation and self-control. Annual Review of Psychology.
Add comment
Comments