There was a time when I thought pain was normal — that suffering was the price of love and survival. As a child, I was beaten, humiliated, and forced into silence. My grandfather’s cruelty left scars that reached beyond the physical. At only five years old, I learned what fear felt like before I ever understood what love was.
But God saw me.
Even in those dark moments, when I didn’t understand why I was being abused, God planted a seed of purpose in my heart. The enemy tried to break my spirit early, but my grandmother gave me God. Though she was emotionally broken and spiritually weary, I watched her pray every day. Her tears were her language of faith. Her pain became my classroom. From her, I learned that even in the face of oppression, prayer still works.
Psalm 34:18 (KJV)
“The Lord is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.”
A Legacy of Broken Love
Growing up, I saw a pattern: women in my family entering unhealthy relationships, and men repeating cycles of control, manipulation, and neglect. I followed that same path. Out of fear, I chose an uneducated, emotionally unavailable man — a mirror image of my grandfather — just to escape my family.
For sixteen years, I lived believing I wasn’t good enough. But what was meant to destroy me became the foundation of my purpose. That pain lit a fire in me — to understand God’s Word, the human mind, and the science of healing.
Romans 8:28 (KJV)
“And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.”
When Pain Masquerades as Love
Like many survivors, I confused attention with affection. Abuse had taught me that love was supposed to hurt. I became promiscuous, searching for validation in all the wrong places. I thought being wanted meant being loved. But God had a plan even in that confusion.
He whispered truth into my spirit: “My daughter, you are more than the things you’ve survived.”
Sex was not love.
Abuse was not affection.
And I learned that true healing comes when you take back your power and close every door that leads to spiritual destruction.
1 Corinthians 6:19–20 (NIV)
“Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit… You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.”
Deliverance Through Awareness
At 27, depression nearly consumed me. I drank to tolerate the people around me. I smiled in public but suffered in silence. Yet even then, God was gently calling me higher. When I got baptized in 2008, I didn’t just get washed in water — I was washed in destiny.
By 2010, the Holy Spirit began awakening me. I can’t tell you the exact moment it happened — but from that day forward, I have never been the same. My mind opened to wisdom, science, and the mysteries of God’s Word. What once looked like madness became revelation.
A psychiatrist once told me, “Crazy people don’t question their sanity.” That reminder grounded me and gave me courage to keep seeking knowledge and truth. I realized that healing and understanding walk hand in hand.
Romans 12:2 (KJV)
“And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.”
Healing Is a Journey of Conscious Living
Today, I live consciously. I analyze my habits, my environments, and my responses. God showed me that not all coping mechanisms are addictions — some are survival tools that need to be surrendered, not shamed. Everything I do now is therapeutic, guided by discernment.
Ephesians 5:8 (NIV)
“For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light.”
I no longer walk in confusion. I walk in clarity, healing, and purpose.
From Abuse to Anointing
God took a broken, fearful little girl and turned her into a sanctified woman of purpose. I no longer apologize for my transformation. I no longer hide my light for the comfort of others. I am not ashamed of my testimony — it is the proof of God’s glory in motion.
When others cannot dim your light, they try to distort how others see you. But God silences every false tongue. My worth no longer depends on what I survived, but on who I serve.
Isaiah 54:17 (KJV)
“No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper; and every tongue that shall rise against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn.”
Walking in God’s Light and Love
I no longer live for man’s approval. I live for God’s truth. Any man who cannot walk toward God cannot walk beside me. God is my first love — my redeemer, my restorer, and my teacher. Through Him, I found emotional freedom, spiritual stability, and mental strength.
I am proof that your past cannot disqualify your purpose.
I am living evidence that God can turn trauma into testimony.
2 Corinthians 5:17 (KJV)
“Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.”
Final Reflection
Your story may not look like mine, but pain speaks a universal language. Whatever you’ve endured — abuse, rejection, betrayal, depression — God can still use it. The very thing that was meant to destroy you is often the thing that defines your divine assignment.
If He did it for me, He can do it for you.
Philippians 1:6 (KJV)
“Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ.”
✨ From broken to blessed. From victim to vessel. From pain to purpose.
I am not who I was — I am who God says I am:
A Sanctified Woman of God.